First of all when I normally go to the Vet, I go for a holiday, i.e. the Humans are traveling somewhere and because I apparently am not to be trusted alone, I go to what they call the Kitty Spa. I mean how much would it have cost to take me along to Lisbon...lots of fish there! I would have fit in the fricking suitcase!
Anyway, they love me at the Vet...they fawn over me, they board few cats there, so I have my run of the cat area, they play with me, etc. I am treated like Hollywood royalty. I know how to get what I want, heh heh.
This time though was different. I actually was going to see a doctor. We wait in the waiting area, I in my cage, but Human 1 will open the door so I can poke my head out, which was almost bitten off by a horrid, oversized French Poodle (probably the most ridiculous looking animal ever!). There are way too many dogs there.
So we wait 10-15 minutes when we are ushered into one of the rooms, where I am promptly yanked out of my cage, weighed, and felt up (and not in a good way, mind you) and then they stick a thermometer up my ass!
OK, they have those new fancy kind for humans, you know, where they rub it on their foreheads and voila their temperature is taken. Can we please create one for cats??? There is nothing gracious about having a long piece of glass stuck up your ass!
Then more waiting, and finally...FINALLY in walks the Vet. Well, I assume she walks in. I see a door open and shut and a voice says, and I quote verbatim, "My, Fenwyck is certainly a robust cat."
ROBUST??? Give me a break. That ranks right up there with calling a model "plus-sized" or calling a baby "pudgy."
For the record, I am BIG-BONED, not robust. And through all this I still hear a voice and see no one, so I peer over the cold metal table and I swear there is a tiny woman in a white lab coat. And all I think is, a munchkin called me robust???
I wanted to yell 'Listen Shorty, you're one to talk!" But being infused with grace and kindness, instead, I whack at her with my paw and try to bite her.
I know I am big, CRAP, I know I am fat. I don't even mind being called fat...but ROBUST? That's just plain insulting!!! I come from a long line of big cats. It's in my genes. I am not sedentary. I run, play,
I f-ing exercise!!! So for this elf to come in and call me robust just about made me want to scream!
So, the lesson here is cats have feelings, too! Would you ever look at a Human and say 'Hey, you're looking quite robust today? I DON'T THINK SO!!!
Next time, be kind...words have a power all their own. Next time, I will cut her!
