What is wrong with you people????

OK, I've about had it! I thought my last post would stop the nonsense of dressing up cats in silly human clothing.
But NO....it's worse. I found this online today.

Do any of you REALLY think this is cute? All it needs is a covered wagon and she's Pioneer Woman, Defender of the Homestead...RIDICULOUS!

It makes me want to scream and claw something. And you can bet it will not be something of mine!

Then I came across this gem.

Let me ask you...does he look happy? Do you see any joy on that face. Uh, NO! Frankly he looks like he might silt your throat in your sleep. C'mon, Humans, this is ridiculous.

I've saved the best for last.

Bread? Bread as an acceptable item of clothing. Where do you shop, Walmart in Alabama? Again, Ridiculous.

We are cats, we are not babies, or dogs, which apparently like being dressed-up. 

So I say do not be surprised if one day WE stick a collar around your neck and stuff you in a litter box and see how YOU like it!

One last thing. Here's a product I found online today.

The description says,. and I quote "Your pet is a former predator. That means that his or her natural way of eating involves hunting and foraging. Pet accessory company Aikiou (pronounced IQ) understands this and has designed brilliant feeders that make Fluffy and Fido slow down and use their brains and paws to eat. Here’s to healthy, happy pets!"

Fluffy and Fido??? Hello, let's get on board with 21st Century pet names, please!

I am NOT a former predator. That case was dismissed! And, I can tell you that the two poodles, and that yappy Chihuahua down the street are not predators. 

What MORON created the above???

I'll make you a deal. I will start "foraging" when you Humans go back to hunting and gathering...you were much more manageable back then!!!

I can be silent no longer.

Sadly I am forced to comment on a growing trend that I find horrific and cruel. It is so terrible, that it is rarely talked about, but alas, I must speak of it, and that is the cruel and inhumane practice of dressing up cats in Human clothes and situations.

First I must say that to do this to dogs is okay and perfectly natural, as they are stupid creatures who know no better, and in most cases actually look better in such situations.

But cats, c'mon. It IS cruel and unusual punishment.

No decent cat is going to lie on a chaise lounge in that position. On the floor, sure...but on a frisking chaise lounge? The look of embarrassment on the faces of those poor creatures make me want to bite someone. And frankly, we don't have the same code of modesty that you Humans do...we're perfectly happy naked. And worst of all...that string on the bottom piece, that goes between our legs, chafes! PLEASE stop this nonsense.

Really? REALLY? Do you really think any cat will stand for this nonsense? They must have drugged the poor creature to get him in this ridiculous outfit.

The look on this poor ones face is not a happy look. It is a "I am going to bite your private parts when you are sleeping" look. Why would any Human do this to a poor defenseless creature? I suspect this cat is owned by a Texas Longhorn fan, ridiculous!

Most of you can't even dress yourselves, but that is another blog post all on its own. Please stop this ridiculous practice. It insults the cat, AND the Human.

Do you ever see us putting YOU in a litter box, or getting on all fours to lap up some milk to take pictures? NO. We have class. We would not embarrass you in that way (frankly you Humans do that well enough all on your own, so you don't need our help).

So, please, PLEASE stop this ridiculous practice. If you do not, this could happen.

I don't think any of us want that, because it would NOT be girl scout cookies we are selling!

Robust is a word to describe coffee, NOT a cat!!!

Ok, I am pissed off! I have been for two days, since my recent trip to the Vet.

First of all when I normally go to the Vet, I go for a holiday, i.e. the Humans are traveling somewhere and  because I apparently am not to be trusted alone, I go to what they call the Kitty Spa. I mean how much would it have cost to take me along to Lisbon...lots of fish there! I would have fit in the fricking suitcase!

Anyway, they love me at the Vet...they fawn over me, they board few cats there, so I have my run of the cat area, they play with me, etc. I am treated like Hollywood royalty. I know how to get what I want, heh heh.

This time though was different. I actually was going to see a doctor. We wait in the waiting area, I in my cage, but Human 1 will open the door so I can poke my head out, which was almost bitten off by a horrid, oversized French Poodle (probably the most ridiculous looking animal ever!). There are way too many dogs there.

So we wait 10-15 minutes when we are ushered into one of the rooms, where I am promptly yanked out of my cage, weighed,  and felt up (and not in a good way, mind you) and then they stick a thermometer up my ass!
OK, they have those new fancy kind for humans, you know, where they rub it on their foreheads and voila their temperature is taken. Can we please create one for cats??? There is nothing gracious about having a long piece of glass stuck up your ass!

Then more waiting, and finally...FINALLY in walks the Vet. Well, I assume she walks in. I see a door open and shut and a voice says, and I quote verbatim, "My, Fenwyck is certainly a robust cat."

ROBUST??? Give me a break. That ranks right up there with calling a model "plus-sized" or calling a baby "pudgy."

For the record, I am BIG-BONED, not robust. And through all this I still hear a voice and see no one, so I peer over the cold metal table and I swear there is a tiny woman in a white lab coat. And all I think is, a munchkin called me robust???

I wanted to yell 'Listen Shorty, you're one to talk!" But being infused with grace and kindness, instead, I whack at her with my paw and try to bite her.

I know I am big, CRAP, I know I am fat. I don't even mind being called fat...but ROBUST? That's just plain insulting!!! I come from a long line of big cats. It's in my genes. I am not sedentary. I run, play,
I f-ing exercise!!! So for this elf to come in and call me robust just about made me want to scream!

So, the lesson here is cats have feelings, too! Would you ever look at a Human and say 'Hey, you're looking quite robust today? I DON'T THINK SO!!!

Next time, be kind...words have a power all their own. Next time, I will cut her!

(I feel I need to add a line that all the Vets at where I go are wonderful, and treat me well, and I am simply  taking artistic license in my description of the diminutive Vet...she is a great Vet)